Posts tagged low bar for recovery
What’s With Adult Children Turning Against Their Mothers?

For the last three blogs, we’ve been looking at family impact of the secret life of sexual and sexualized activities conducted by a father or step-father. In creating and protecting this secret life as his priority we have seen the devastating consequences to children and teenagers. It is clear that he abuses the whole family, not just the wife or partner. He does this with his deceit, misogyny, lies, blameshifting, gaslighting, denial, abandonment, humiliating behaviors—betraying the family unit as the primary priority for authenticity, intimacy, safety, respect, nurture, honesty and love. He violates the family’s core values multiple ways, multiple times, with multiple destructive consequences to the other members.

This week we are dealing with an outcome that is the second trauma for so many women. This is about adult children who turn on them while protecting and supporting their compulsive-abusive sexual relational disordered fathers. Why does this happen? How does this reveal what is truly at stake for families? And what can wives and partners who are innocent victims of these men do to avoid becoming fresh victims of their misguided adult children? How much loss are wives and partners really absorbing?

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fake regret, Post-traumatic stressDiane Stricklandadult children of sex addicts, low bar for recovery, intimate partner abuse, telling the truth of your life, telling the truth about him, tone-policing, infantilizing sex addicts
Recovery Down So Low You Can't Get Under It

Another week has passed. And it’s been another week of wives and partners broken, enraged, diseased, and frantic to learn what their best options are and find some relief from his abuse—abuse now amplified by the treatment model and its practitioners.

Some weeks I want to scream. But instead I’m going to tackle yet another topic on the buffet table of recovery bullshit. This week’s blog is about the imaginary “reasonable expectations and accountability” bar that you will spend your time and energy creating so that he and his team can beat you upside the head with it any time you bring it into the conversation. The first piece of the imaginary bar are your boundaries. 

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self-care, therapeutic abuse, expectations for recoveryDiane Stricklandlow expectations, boundaries, slips and lapses, recovery ploys, infantilizing sex addicts, misogynist therapy, low bar for recovery