When You Don’t Know What Other People Think They Know About You

This week I hit a wall.

It’s not a new wall. It’s the same old wall, made of conversations others have had about me, conclusions drawn about what I said, did, or meant without ever asking me about it, believing the worst about me, and yes, even making stuff up. As a result, communications I actually receive are unnatural, often disrespectful and usually patronizing in the extreme.

Maybe you know what I mean. You don’t know what it is you need to clear up because you weren’t there when the conclusions about you were made. You were not considered enough of a person for anyone to talk to you about it. People get to justify why they always liked your ex more than you. You are treated as if even communicating with you is a favour for which you should shut up and be grateful. 

Each new episode builds upon the former as yet another reason for excusing people from doing the right thing, the honest thing, the fair thing. You are no longer worth it. No wonder that marriage failed. You were always just too….much.

All you can do it stand up for yourself as best you can, insist on being treated with respect and live your life as productively as possible. Because you do know who you are. Because you saved yourself and you are worth it. Because you didn’t let him destroy your soul. And they didn’t care about that, either, when you were doing it. 

Then, as Paul McCartney wrote, Let it Be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3wu3RbVqd8